Person o' the Week

Let us take a moment to remember a past Person 'o the Week, Two Fish. They have passed into the great toilet in the sky, and will be missed.

An Interview with Two Fish

bHs: Hi guys. Thanks for joining us and talking a little bit about your life.
Two Fish: Yeah. No big deal. We weren’t going anywhere.

bHs: Well, great! We’ll make it quick nonetheless.
TF: Whatever.

bHs: So, how are you feeling about your living environment?
TF: We really like it. The water is nice and warm and pretty fresh, and all the more obnoxious fish seem to have left. The snails are pretty silly, but we try and eat their antenna, and that’s fun.

bHs: The other fish all left? Where did they go?
TF: Dunno. Don’t really care either. They weren’t all that nice either. Ugly and mean.

bHs: You really have no idea where they went?
TF: Nope. Can we talk about something else?

bHs: Of course. What about the snails?
TF: There are tons of them, although some of them seem to have moved to the little tank that the pathetic sea monkeys lived and died in. Bad karma, man. We wouldn’t go there.

bHs: But aren’t you living in a tank that other fish died in?
TF: Oooo, what are you saying? No one died. No one died. No one died. I’m not sure we want to continue this.

bHs: Hey guys, don’t leave me now. Let’s keep going. We talk some more about snails.
TF: Yeah. Snails. What a dumb animal. Sure reproduce a lot though. What’s with that?

bHs: You guys could reproduce. You have the whole tank to yourselves. And the snails.
TF: Naw. That’s gross. Only snails do that.

bHs: So where to more fish come from?
TF: The surface. The force that giveth and taketh away. Food cometh. New fish cometh. Old, bad fish goeth.

bHs: Would you like some new fish to “cometh”?
TF: Naw. They wouldn't like it here. We can guarantee it. Gotta go now. This is boring.

bHs: But wait, hey, who am I going to talk to now? I can’t believe stupid little fish -- you can see their guts and spines they just swam away from me. Geez. Even they had something better to do. This job sucks. I hope the snails attack them. Now they don't even seem to recognize me.

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