Follow up interview with the animal formerly
known as Cow Kitty
bHs - Sorry for bothering you during your very important
schedule, but it has come to our attention that you are now known
as Lester.
Lester the Cow Kitty - Weird, but true.
bHs - How did this come about?
Lester - My understanding is that a few people who have an ungodly
influence over my mistress demanded that I be given a proper name.
bHs - And how do you feel about this?
Lester - I'm crying on the inside. Oh fine, I don't care. Why bother
responding to any name when you can sit on top of the computer monitor
and get static electricity shocks? And then I can scratch some furniture
ignoring any feeble cries. No one dares speak my true name, and
until then, I am a cat alone.
bHs - Indeed.
Original interview with Cow Kitty
bHs – Thank you for joining us, Cow Kitty. I
know that you've had a very full last couple of weeks, and we appreciate
you taking the time to talk with us.
Cow Kitty - Well, although there have been some pressing matters
on my mind, I am more than happy to talk. Now that I've eaten all
the spiders and the garbage has been examined, I have plenty of
time.
bHs – Wonderful. Last week, or actually several
weeks ago, we talked with your housemate, Potter. Shall we start
with discussing how you felt about him being interviewed first?
Cow Kitty – It really wasn't a big deal. I didn't feel like
talking at that point, and, frankly, better things come later. Everyone
just needed to wait to hear my words of wisdom.
bHs – Tell us more about your words of wisdom.
Cow Kitty – They really are quite elementary. First, eat with
joy. Second, run around when you feel like it. Third, sleep plenty.
Fourth, find a special friend. Not everyone can understand or act
on these words, but they are what I have to share.
bHs - What's this I hear about you getting a more
traditional name.
Cow Kitty - Complete poppycock. My nutso owner and boyfriend like
to come up with the most ridiculous names and then pretend they
are going to call me them. But they're just full of hot air.
bHs – And is Potter your special friend?
Cow Kitty – Sort of. I can't really count on him always being
around. I learned early on that things can change quickly and inexplicably.
I do like to bite his butt, though.
bHs – Tell me more about this deep-seated pessimism
I'm sensing.
Cow Kitty – Well, the first family I lived with ditched me,
now I've been moved twice in the last ten months and a new cat has
joined my household (that's Potter), and there is someone infringing
on my mistress. Plus, I wanted to write an advice column and I was
rejected.
bHs – You seem like you'd write a fantastic
advice column.
Cow Kitty – I know. It was going to be Dr. Cow Kitty's advice
column for lovelorn animals. I was so excited. And then it was yet
another dream crushed.
BHS – I didn't realize you were a doctor.
Cow Kitty – Oh yes. I was certified last year when I was living
on the road.
BHS – Wow. When my health insurance runs out,
I'll come talk with you. Before we leave you, and thank you again
for taking the time, one last question: what’s the one kind
of food that you wish you could like but don’t?
Cow Kitty – I recently started eating green curry. I think
that's kind of a weird food to like, and maybe I shouldn't. It doesn't
really answer your question, but when has that ever been a priority
for me?
Archived People O' The Week
Potter: The Dragon Cat |
